Gaining Wisdom as we Bloom: Truths We Wish We Knew In Our 20's
With age comes wisdom — and, as Lori jokes, a little more forgetfulness. This week Vonda and Lori dig into an article shared by loyal listener Sarah Botchik: "20 Harsh Truths at 47 I Wish I Knew When I Was 27" by leadership coach Eric Partaker. Truth by truth, they hold each one up against real life in the flower business — and the results are funny, honest, and occasionally a gut punch.
Leadership starts in the mirror
The first truth sets the tone: when something isn't going as planned, the very first step is to look in the mirror. At 27 you think it's everybody else's fault; the hosts admit that at 37 (and beyond) we sometimes still do. It's leadership 101 — and, Lori adds, parenting 101. When her world was chaotic, her kids' world usually was too.
Several of the truths circle back to this same theme. Leadership is not about power, control, or status — it's about serving others, even when it's inconvenient. Lori traces our confusion all the way back to kindergarten line leaders: we grew up thinking the leader stands at the front while everyone follows. A real leader models behavior others want to emulate, grows people until they outgrow you, and then watches them grow others. Which pairs with her signature advice: be the role model you wish you had. If you're aware enough to wish you had a better role model, you already have what it takes to become one for everybody around you.
And leadership means making tough, unpopular decisions — it's less about being liked and more about being genuinely respected. Execute hard calls with respect, and you'll get respect back.
Business can be ruthless — and your drive may alienate people
Truth two: even if you play fair, don't expect everyone else to. Vonda hears it from business owners constantly, and Lori thinks of Flower Clique members who trained up young employees only to watch them open competing shops in the same small town. Related: unlocking your full potential may alienate you. Both hosts know florists who left finance or medical careers for flowers over the objections of everyone around them — and followed their passion anyway.
On the truth that you must go beyond resilient and become "anti-fragile," the hosts push back honestly. Lori confesses that's simply not how she's wired, and Vonda agrees it's partly personality. But resilience itself? Vonda's take: don't apologize for what she's been through — it made her stronger and wiser.
You're either winning or you're learning
The episode's favorite truth: your journey will be paved with failures, rejections, and heartbreaks — you're either winning or you're learning. At Flower Clique, trying things that flop is part of the process. The trendy tote containers are the perfect example: plenty of florists were scared of them at first, and now shops are posting them on Instagram as bestsellers. Try something new. It might work.
Other truths that landed hard:
The 80/20 rule. Twenty percent of your actions create eighty percent of your results — and 20% of the people in your life lead to 80% of your opportunities. Your job is to identify that 20%. Its companion: deciding who you will no longer spend time with matters as much as deciding who you will. Lori hears her mom's voice: "Let me be known by the company I keep." Vonda remembers advice from writer Herb Mitchell at her very first AIFD Symposium — don't gravitate to people you think will take you somewhere; find the sincere, like-minded ones.
Don't master everything — delegate to someone 10x better. Your job is to identify what should be mastered, then find the person far better than you at it. It's why the Flower Clique team is so compartmentalized, and frankly why many florists outsource their website management: so they can keep designing.
Value first, money follows. Vonda recalls a longtime business owner who lived in his spreadsheets until he shifted his focus to the customer and the value they received — and the whole business turned around.
Consistency plus hard work. Plenty of people work hard in spurts; consistency is the killer, especially with things like social media, which most shop owners only think about while winding down in bed.
The five extra minutes
One truth stops the conversation cold: if you were given five extra minutes on your deathbed, you wouldn't use them to close another deal — you'd hug your loved ones a little longer. Lori points to hospice nurse Hadley Vlahos's bestselling book The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments: in all her stories of last words, no one ever talks about business deals or money. It's always family, friends, loved ones. Remember that in the middle of the workday.
And finally: you honestly have no clue what you're capable of. Vonda points at Lori as living proof — a woman who once had never spoken beyond a Sunday school classroom, now moving audiences from the stage. Lori's advice for any age: a healthy amount of fear comes with growth, but do not let fear win.
Key takeaways
- When things go wrong, look in the mirror first — leadership (and parenting) starts with you.
- Reframe every failure: you're either winning or you're learning.
- Identify the 20% of actions and people driving 80% of your results — and choose your company deliberately.
- Don't master everything; find someone 10x better and delegate.
- Focus on creating value for customers and the money follows.
- Be the role model you wish you had, and don't let fear cap your potential.