Boss Alert! Five Questions You Should Ask Yourself
When was the last time you asked yourself a genuinely hard question about your own leadership? In this episode, Vonda and Lori dig into a truth most shop owners would rather avoid: if your team feels unproductive or chaotic, the first place to look is the mirror. They've narrowed a long list down to five questions every boss, owner, or manager — and honestly, every shop employee — should sit with. As one military leader they quote puts it, one of the biggest problems in leadership today is a simple lack of reflection.
1. What can I be doing better — and how am I wrong?
Nobody enjoys being wrong. But as the hosts point out, wisdom is really just experience: we've failed enough times to know we're not perfect. In the shop, that means resisting the urge to hunt for a culprit when something goes sideways. When an angry customer calls, your first priority is to solve the problem — gather information, fix it, and only afterward sit back and reflect on what happened. Bad performance, Lori notes, is always a leadership problem: a good leader looks in the mirror first before pointing fingers. Even if deep down you know exactly who dropped the ball, take ownership and move on. Anything else hurts morale — and in a market where part-time help is hard to find, it hurts retention too.
2. Am I who I want my team to be?
You can hand your staff the best training in the world, but you have to model it. Lori tells prep school owners this in every orientation: the content, videos, and workbooks are done for you, but you have to watch them too — otherwise it's like assigning eighth-grade math you can't do yourself. Answer the phone the way you want it answered. Clean the buckets the way you taught them to clean buckets. Vonda remembers doing exactly that in her shop days: when a stack of dirty buckets piled up, she'd wash them herself, and her team saw she was part of the team. Or as the Paul Wellstone quote in this episode says, never separate the life you live from the words you speak.
3. Am I communicating effectively?
In a fast-paced flower shop, it's easy to assume everyone is on the same page — which means expecting employees to read your mind. That's impossible, and unclear expectations are one of the main reasons employees leave: they didn't understand what you needed, and they felt shamed for it. Watch out for the "curse of knowledge" too — the things that have become rote memory for you, like the different ways to process a hydrangea versus a carnation, are not obvious to a new hire. And communication isn't just the words; it's the delivery. Just as sales training teaches employees to mind their tone on the phone, owners need to check their tone with the team.
4. What's working, what isn't — and how much is fear deciding for me?
Every change decision carries fear: fear of making a change, and fear of not making one. Vonda hears it constantly — "things are going so well right now, if I change anything it might all stop." Her answer echoes Rich Salvaggio's old advice: work smarter, not harder. Lori's tool for taking the emotion out of it is the after-action report, borrowed from the military: after every event, open house, or holiday, honestly write down what worked, what didn't, and what you'd change next time. For bigger decisions, put pros and cons on paper and talk to a trusted, less emotionally attached confidant. We work in an emotional industry full of emotional people — don't make big calls in a high-emotion moment.
5. How can I serve my team better — and can I let my ego go?
Lori's favorite sign of a great owner: the one who brings an idea to their team, shares the information, asks for feedback, and lets everyone take a little ownership before deciding. Ego closes your ears to better ideas and overvalues your own. The hosts' advice: welcome feedback openly, but set a clear timeline — "my door is open until Friday, then I'll decide" — because the final responsibility is still yours. Lead with authority but decide with input, and your team will actually keep talking to you. Rule by ego, and they'll quietly stop offering ideas at all.
Key takeaways
- When something goes wrong, solve the problem first — reflect and assign lessons (not blame) afterward.
- Model every standard you set: phones, buckets, sweeping, all of it. Your team does what you do, not what you say.
- Beware the curse of knowledge — spell out expectations step by step, and check your tone as carefully as your words.
- Use after-action reports after every event or holiday, and keep fear from making your change decisions for you.
- Be authentic: let your team see you make mistakes. If everything feels chaotic, it's probably your fault — which is good news, because you can change it.