Leadership Traits That Retain vs. Repel Employees
Ever wonder why some flower shops can't keep staff while others have employees who never want to leave? Fresh off AIFD Symposium — where Lori says at least seven different people told her "I need a mentor in this industry" — Vonda and Lori dig into two lists Lori found: five corrosive leadership habits that give employees "the ick," and five traits of leaders people genuinely want to work for. If new hires keep working two days and disappearing, this episode is your mirror.
The five habits that repel employees
Getting overwhelmed easily. When the boss visibly freaks out, employees feel the ship sinking. Your job is to be the person with the plan — most flower shops don't have an HR department, so you are the plan maker. The hosts draw a line between an honest "I need a minute here" and a full meltdown in front of the team. Preparation is what keeps you calm: map the timeline for that big wedding, know who does what, and be ready to shift when someone doesn't show. Then, as Vonda puts it, go freak out in your room after it's all over.
Being indecisive. An employee bringing you a problem already carries fear and doubt; if the leader doesn't know what to do either, they have nowhere to turn. Vonda shares how she taught her nine-year-old son — paralyzed by fear of the wrong choice — that wrong decisions are just information for the next one. The article's line stuck with Lori: "movement is movement, even if it's in the wrong direction." You're still building momentum, and you can always make a U-turn.
Chronic complaining. Venting to impressionable employees about customers or coworkers models exactly the behavior you don't want, and it drags down your culture. Everyone needs to vent sometimes — just consider your audience. Go in the back room and call a friend instead.
Always hanging back. You don't have to be in every conversation, but you need to be close enough to know who's causing the undercurrent — and to step in when a bomb goes off. Ignoring a toxic employee because they're "a good worker" never makes the problem go away; it makes your best people leave.
Making excuses. The hosts retell a story from a class they taught years ago: a shop owner asked a full room to validate her decision to let one "great employee" show up 30 minutes late, every day, while the rest of the team seethed. The whole room — wholesale managers included — turned on her. Every excuse you make for one person lowers the bar for everyone, and it doesn't even help the person you're excusing.
The five traits that make employees stay
They're consistent — in mood and in rules. Nobody should have to wonder what boss they're getting today, and rules enforced for some employees but not others is poison in a small shop.
They stay close to the action. You don't need to micromanage, but if you're in the back office doing books, somebody trustworthy needs to be your eyes on the floor, ready to knock and say "code red."
They're transparent. Not perfect — transparent. Tell your team when you're having a rough day so they're not walking on eggshells. Share the numbers they can actually help with, like cost of goods sold. Lori tells the story of a Flower Clique member whose slow-but-lovely designer asked for a raise; instead of a flat no, the owner privately walked her through the math showing her production didn't cover her pay. No shame, no threat — just the truth, and a clear picture of what would earn the raise.
They hold high standards. Great leaders are ladder holders, not ladder climbers — their job is getting everyone else higher. Set the bar high on day one, the way great teachers do, and don't keep quietly lowering it.
They learn and adapt. The hosts share a Forbes line about lifelong learners drawing on the experiences and ideas of others, and point to their own team — where people who love researching completely different things spark each other's ideas. When an employee shares something they've learned, celebrate it and ask where it could be used in the business. You may have untapped resources sitting in your shop right now.
Key takeaways
- Audit yourself against the five "ick" habits first — they're the exact opposites of the traits that retain people.
- Make the decision. Movement is movement; a wrong call teaches you more than no call.
- Never make excuses for one chronically late or toxic employee — the rest of the team is keeping score.
- Use transparency as a tool: showing an employee the real numbers beats a vague "no" every time.
- Hold the ladder: set high standards, then do everything you can to help your people reach them.