Respect in the Workplace: Why, How and What to Avoid
Fresh off Memorial Day — a holiday built on respect, from flags to grave placements (Vonda's old flower shop colleague still handles 90 of them) — Vonda finally gets to record the episode she's been asking for all month: respect in the workplace. What it actually is, why it matters more than shop owners realize, how to show it, and — with Lori playing devil's advocate — the leadership habits that quietly destroy it.
Separate the personality from the work
The foundational move: respect is not the same thing as liking someone. You may find a co-worker's personality irritating and still deeply respect the way they process flowers, build a recipe, or wait on a customer. Lori adds a generational layer — she was raised (Gen X, with a father who commanded respect) differently than her 22-year-old, and she sees younger workers confusing respect with agreement. Nobody on the planet aligns with everything you stand for; you don't have to agree with someone's every position to respect their work.
Why respect pays in a flower shop
Vonda's case for taking this seriously is practical. Respect reduces stress — a genuine health benefit. It fuels collaboration and productivity, because people who respect each other actually listen. And most important for owners: satisfied employees stay at companies where they feel valued and look for ways to advance — which means lower turnover and less money spent replacing people.
Respect also creates a fair playing field. It's tempting to only listen to your most experienced designer, but the newer designer is looking at the problem from an angle you've never seen. Respecting everyone's contribution is how you build a better team.
Eleven ways to show respect — and one delegation story
Vonda fires through the list: listen to what everyone has to say; pay attention to nonverbal communication; practice transparency; recognize strengths and accomplishments (not weaknesses); value others' time and workload; delegate meaningful work; practice courtesy that's genuine rather than cheesy; prevent bias; include people in meetings and celebrations (though, as Lori jokes, only the meetings they actually need); consider how others view your actions; and help your peers.
The one worth lingering on is delegating meaningful work — not just bucket washing. Lori tells the story of a sympathy photo shoot where Vonda, buried in a casket spray, handed Audrey the job of adding color to a set of dish gardens with a simple "you can do it, you got this" — no second look, no hovering. Audrey had the talent but not the confidence, and that one moment of trusted delegation made her day. That's what respect looks like in motion.
The devil's advocate list: how leaders lose respect
Then Lori flips the script with her own list of what to avoid if you want your team's respect:
- Making assumptions. Deciding at first glance that someone is beneath you — think of the boutique clerks in Pretty Woman. Assume the best; it's easier to adjust down than up.
- Doing a 180 without explaining why. Plans change constantly in a small business — that's fine. What kills respect is changing everything, apologizing for nothing, and explaining nothing. Acknowledge the pivot, give the reason, and thank the person absorbing it. As the article Lori read put it, honesty always helps put out the fire.
- Lazy delegation. "I don't have time for this, go make that" — door slam — leaves an employee's head spinning. Good delegation takes time up front and can elevate someone's skills; done badly, it eventually costs you the employee.
- Exaggerating your own accomplishments. State them once and let others do the telling. If you have to keep announcing you're a big deal, you're probably not.
- Dropping the ball on a promise. Rally the team toward a goal, dangle the pizza party, hit the number — and never deliver? Do that a few times and respect drains away, especially from employees too timid to call you on it.
Can lost respect be regained?
Vonda closes with the hard question: if an employee loses respect for a boss, can it come back? Lori's honest answer: it depends on why it was lost. For a bad moment — a blow-up at a co-worker — she believes in second chances, and her advice is to speak truth even if your voice shakes: sit down with the boss, name what happened, and judge the response. Openness and honesty can earn respect back, because everybody is flawed. Owners have homework too: when a young employee ghosts you, plead for an exit meeting if you have to. You can't fix what you never find out.
And the counterintuitive bottom line: the best way to gain respect is to give it abundantly — to every person, even the ones you might be wrong about. You can't demand it. People are watching your actions and drawing their own conclusions; make sure the actions are worth watching.
Key takeaways
- Respect the work even when you don't love the personality — they're separate things.
- Respect lowers stress, lifts productivity, and keeps employees — turnover is a respect problem in disguise.
- Delegate meaningful work with trust and context, never "lazy delegation" on the way out the door.
- When plans change, explain why; when you promise a reward, deliver it.
- Give respect abundantly and let your actions speak — it can't be demanded, only earned.