Episode 24: What can give you Joy in the Midst of a Storm?
Vonda almost skipped her morning walk the day this episode was recorded. She had too much to do, the weather was drizzly, and the office was calling. She went anyway — and walked straight into one of the most complete rainbows she'd ever seen, arcing from one end to the other. On a week when the topic was already going to be joy, it felt like a gift. This episode is Vonda and Lori's honest conversation about what joy actually is, why it's different from happiness, and how flower shop owners can hold onto it in the middle of a storm like COVID-19.
Joy is not the same thing as happiness
The hosts draw a line early: happiness is a feeling that comes and goes, but joy lives deeper. As Lori puts it, joy is a choice she makes when her feet hit the ground every morning — "I'm going to choose to look at things from an appreciation point of view." It doesn't mean being silly and cheerful all day. It means deciding what lens you'll see your day through.
That's why, both hosts agree, you can have joy in the midst of grief. Lori remembers lying beside her mother in her final days — intense sadness and real joy at being there, together in the same moment. Vonda's rainbows trace back to her late husband Bud's illness, when the two of them would stand in the rain and he'd point to the sky: it's going to be okay. Joy can live among all the other feelings, and you're allowed to feel it even when the world is heavy.
Appreciation and variety: the two habits of joyful people
Lori shares a University of California study that found joy has two trainable ingredients. The first is appreciation — paying attention to the root cause of a happy moment so it gains staying power. When Vonda stopped a neighbor to share the rainbow, she wasn't just enjoying a pretty sky; she was reactivating hundreds of rainbow memories that mean something to her. Lori does the same thing with old spring-break beach trips and the used white Honda Accord she bought as a newlywed — "recycling" good memories to reignite joy on hard days.
The second is variety — trying new things, seeking new experiences, and looking at opportunities differently. When a friend bought a beach house years ago, some people got quietly jealous; Lori offered to come help paint. Being joyful for someone else takes far less energy than being negative — and right now, energy is worth saving.
What actually determines your joy
Two frameworks anchor the conversation. From John Leland's book Happiness Is a Choice You Make, written after a year spent among the "oldest old," come four practices: do the things that make you happy, express gratitude, find purpose, and double down on good relationships. Vonda points out that florists have a built-in head start on purpose — the whole job is making people happy with flowers.
Then there's the research on what determines happiness: roughly 50 percent genetics and personality, only 10 percent circumstances, and 40 percent within your control. That 10 percent number surprised Lori — until she thought of her son's mission trips to Ethiopia, where a family welcomed him into a flooded home with open arms and shared food, joyful and grateful in circumstances most of us can't imagine. If circumstances are only 10 percent of the equation, that 40 percent in your control is real power.
What this means for your shop
The hosts bring it home to business. Some owners felt guilty for receiving PPP funds or for being allowed to open when shops in other states couldn't — and guilt, Lori says plainly, is not healthy. Shops that pulled off Mother's Day short-staffed and scared should look back with pride and joy, not apology.
And the advice Vonda and Lori have given a hundred times applies doubly here: look at your business and identify what you love — then delegate the tasks that truly drain you. Not the ones you mildly dislike, but the ones that make you unhappy. You'll never do those well anyway, and handing them off protects the joy that made you open a flower shop in the first place.
Key takeaways
- Joy can coexist with sadness, fear, and grief — feeling it in hard seasons isn't something to apologize for.
- Build appreciation on purpose: revisit and "recycle" your best memories to give good moments staying power.
- Only about 10 percent of joy comes from circumstances — around 40 percent is in your control.
- Do the things that make you happy; delegate the tasks in your shop and your life that drain you.
- Rejoice in other people's wins — negativity costs far more energy than joy does.
Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist